haitian rain

When I think about rain, I think about the smell. The smell brings me back to my childhood spring time, where we would play in the puddles and dance. Rain to me brings life to the world, a newness that only comes from the Father. But there are other views on rain, the begging of a storm, tears, the dreariness of life, it all is how your experiences have shaped you and how your psyche interprets them. But then there is the washing away and cleansing of the soul. This is the rain I am the fondest of. Yesterday that is the rain we had.

The reason that this is a day late is because yesterday was so emotionally and spiritually draining that there was no way to put into words what I and the team witnessed. The team, Erica, Sara, John and Kessy all went to Guerlin's orphanage with the intent of giving the kids some shoes and building some bunk beds. First of all the kids were not the same kids Erica and I have been with last week. These kids were loving and playful and so excited to see the team (all for the first time). We could not get over the difference. We got there and it was obvious that the shoes weren't going to fit the kids.  Pastor Ron saw in the field next to the orphanage some men working and felt that is where they should go. So some went out there, and men started coming from everywhere. They gave away all the shoes they brought for the day. Footwashing and spreading the gospel. It was such a beautiful site to watch. The other part of the team and I were with the kids. Hanging out playing and coloring, and others were beginning the work on the bunk beds. At 12 the kids have worship time which means they all go in the church room and sing, dance, and pray. It is a really precious part to watch. It went a little different than normal.

The kids sand and prayed and then they wanted to sing to us. So sweet! Then a few of the older ones grabbed Kessy and had messages they wanted to share. They mostly were of thankfulness to Jesus for Chadasha and for the team. It was just a blessing to hear the words. Guerlin then said a few words, and her husband. When he got up to talk he told the story of how Chadasha found the orphanage. The story of Jean Michele and how is life was so purposefully lived through his last breath. It brought tears to my eyes to hear this story I know so well from the "papi" of the young boy who saved the lives of so many kids. It was absolutely beautiful. Pastor Ron and Jack wanted to pray for the kids and the orphanage. They began (without this in mind in the beginning) by anointing the hands of Guerlin and her husband, and then prayed. They asked everyone to point there hands in their direction and pray. All in my head was that I hope they are touched by what happens today and know that it is all ultimately for the kids and all this fighting needs to cease.

Then Guerlin said the kids wanted to pray for us. And all the team gathered together and I watched as every kid surrounded the team (including Erica, Sara, Kessy, John and I) and lifted both arms in the direction or laid hand someone and shut their eyes so tight and prayed. All at once 50 Haitian orphans were praying over us. I lost it. I cried my eyes out. And as a lot of you know I don't ever cry. Even if I want to I can't. But at that moment I felt so unworthy to be prayed over by these kids, and that it was us who needed to pray for these kids. They have nothing and we have whatever we want, yet they know about their Father. I have no idea what they said, but I don't even care. It would probably make me cry even more if I did. I still get worked up thinking about it. I held the little boys hand that was next to me and just wept. After "Amen" they all came and hugged everyone of us. Which at that point I couldn't stop crying. These kids have blessed my heart so much. There is no way I can leave them in August.

We stood there, a few team members and the kids, and just took it in. Then I noticed Pastor Jack laying hand and praying over Kessy. I wept some more as I saw my friend being loudly prayed over. Then Guerlin began singing, and none of the kids were singing with her which was strange. Then she stopped started twitching, and yelling in an unknown language. At the same time the Spirit hit Jack and he began praying louder and in tongues over Kessy. Kessy fell to his knees and wept, Jack still praying. Guerlin then stopped, and walked around giving hugs saying "Thank you thank you".  We got the kids out of there, and Jack continued to pray over Kessy. Then he began to pray over the room. After it was all over with I composed myself and started thinking about what I had witnessed. I firmly believe that an evil spirit left Guerlin, at the same time the Lord entered that place and began speaking through Jack. I have never encountered speaking in tongues or evil spirits though I know they both exist. We all mentioned later that night that we felt extremely calm throughout the whole event. Which was solely the Lord, because when you sit back and think about the fact that an evil spirit left and that that same evil spirit had been around these beautiful children for a long time, it terrified us. As I walked out of the room, I cold barley walk. I was shaking so much, and felt such a heaviness come over my whole body. A heaviness for this country, for the children, for those children. I wanted to save the world, but I can't. Those kids have been through so much, Haiti has been through so much. I just want them to feel the joy and happiness that exists. The rest of the afternoon feels like a daze, a dream. It was hard to correctly function with so many things going through my mind. 

After supper I went straight to my room and began dealing with it. Journaling, praying, and thinking. I took a shower to shake everything off. Erica came and said the team invited us to their meeting. So Erica, Sara, John and I all attended the meeting with the team. We talked about what happened and then Pastor Ron wanted everyone to get in groups and grab a Haiti team member to pray for them. So three wonderful women grabbed me and we went to pray. They asked me about what happened and what I specifically need prayer for. We talked for a long time and then they prayed for me. And again the teams came, every word they uttered was words of encouragement and intentional prayer. I needed to hear every word of it. It was so beautiful because afterwards I felt light as air. Everything had been lifted from my body and purpose was placed there. There was purpose for me being there yesterday, for knowing these people, for being in Haiti. It is all part of the great vision God has over my life. I have never felt more close with the Lord than I did yesterday. Probably because His spirit was here. I have encountered the Lord in a way that can never be fully described or understood. But Lord is not something we can fully understand anyways. He wouldn't be God if we knew everything. I feel a somewhat different relationship now. A more intimate and raw relationship. He encompasses my being and everything I am.

After I left the room yesterday to go outside where the kids were, it began to rain. Just a little bit, but it was raining. It hasn't rained in weeks, and I was told this is supposed to be the rainy season. As the afternoon went on it began to pour. It rained off and on all afternoon, and thunderstormed all night. I have never seen a more beautiful storm than last night. The lightening went on forever and seemed to never stop. It was different colors, and happened every other second. All I could think about from the first raindrop I felt was the washing away of the past and the sin. Just like we are all washed new, that orphanage and relationship was washed new and cleansed in one powerful way. I do not know what the outcome of yesterday may mean in the long run for the orphanage, but I know that that place and those kids are blessed because the Holy Spirit was in that place yesterday. I saw Him, I felt Him, He was there. He then washed away the mess with His Holy rain and made life in that place. Life like no other can bring. I can rest well knowing that the hand of God is always on those children.