Dying to myself

As you all know, Hurricane Isaac has been running havoc here recently. Before it made its destructive way to the unfortunate people in the Gulf Coast, it stopped by here in Haiti for a while. The news had gone back and forth between a CAT 2 hurricane and a tropical storm, so we really had no idea what was going to happen when it hit. To be on the safe side us, we brought all the kids and babies from the Children’s Home to our house so the ladies that take care of them could be with their family through the storm, and if the kids got scared there would be people around. I love all the children so much, and was very excited about having them with us. But I don’t think we knew what we were getting into.

I have babysat before, been babysitting for as long as I can remember. Even babysat 4 kids at once with three of them under the age of 4. And I thought that was something. But the difference then, and previous some odd years of my life….their parents eventually came back and I went home. Whether it was an hour or 14, it was not a total commitment. I was still able to eat the food I wanted, get sleep, hang out friends, etc. It only required a small amount for my time, and I was usually paid for the time I spent there.  

But this was different on every level. From the moment we picked them on from their rooms, till we sat them back in their rooms four days later, it was constant care. Constant. Feeding, holding, bathing, changing countless diarrhea diapers because they were all sick, waking up throughout the night at the slightest sound, changing diapers in the middle of the night because they were so sick, waking up with a bed full and yourself covered in diarrhea because someone just didn’t feel good. You ate last, bathed last, and slept last, if you did any of those things at all. Sometimes you just want to eat your rice and beans without a pair of grubby hands reaching for the same stuff, or sit down long enough to check your email to see how your parents are doing or sleep longer than 1 to 2 hours without waking up. Even when you feel bad and just want to rest, I was so sick for most of the time they were here, but there is no pause button on a child. When you are responsible for another life, everything of yourself gets pushed aside and they are your priority. You die to yourself.

Isn't that exactly what Christ called us to do? Dying to our flesh is gain in Christ. What good can our sinful nature be to the world but destruction? Gaining Christ and the Spirit lead us down the path that brings the utmost glory and blessing to the Father. God does not drop of Jesus at a convenient time for us to be completely committed to him, and then when there are things we want to do he stops by and picks him back up. Aren't we responsible for others lives, on the meaning that we are called to be a witness and spread the Gospel at every turn? This hit me like a freight train. Is that not how we live? Do we really die to everything of ourselves that is not of Christ, and live solely for him? Have you ever thought that someones life may be at stake if we missed an opportunity from the Lord because we were so consumed in ourselves? Pretty sure if we all took the time to look at our lives we would say no. But this realization never occurred to me, the phrase never meant that much to me. I honestly don’t think I understood it.

That is what the Lord wants so much from us. Just us. Completely us. He wants all of us, to be in him and of him, living each day not of ourselves but of the Father. We are humans and because of that we are not perfect, and as much as we try we are going to fail. But to strive to live a life that way would be the biggest step of faith for any believer. Though I was run ragged those days, I was so blessed and happy with those kids. And I would much rather be run ragged and beat down, at the end of the day and full of joy with the Lord, than living the high life any day.

Join me in chipping away of our flesh and striving to live a life of Christ. I challenge you to see the good and blessing you will find.